Archive for The becoming

To Let Go

September 16, 2007 · Filed under Life, The becoming, reflection, religious life · Tagged

There are things that you must realize and accept as absolute truths when you are discerning the Will of God, or at least that’s what I’ve decided, especially in the context of the religious life. My most recent, and somewhat obvious discovery- is abandonment in all things, and giving all to the Will of God… no matter how challenging. It’s nice to say, “yes I want to give all that I am to God”, but it is another- and a much more present and challenging reality to truly abandon yourself completely to God’s providence, Mercy, God’s Will and His Love. A true “yes!” is a daily one… moment to moment- fiat. To feel that you must do this on your own- means disaster and spiritual drowning.  All things done with Him, because we are NOTHING without His love and Grace. With this, I have learned that all is a grace- every suffering, every point of discouragement, every joy.  These are only a means of getting closer to our one true Love. He who is Love personified and glorified. My prayer is to always keep faithful in this belief- because I will never for once deny that I am weak and imperfect in countless ways.

Letting go has so many ways of manifesting itself within my life. Detachment from friends and family is no easy task, but every rose has its thorn… with that like Guns and Roses got it right. Leaving the “things” behind that make us feel accomplished, safe and secure are no longer necessary.. because Christ must be the only thing that fulfills us and our only necessity. In reality… when you get right down to the heart of the matter- what more could you want?? He is all there is, the source and summit- Love. Habits and ways of behavior must be let go of, and He must take over within us. I must decrease, and He must increase… Thank you John the Baptist =) he got it right.

So far the road less traveled isn’t easy, yet not half bad… but it is loveable in it’s own peacful sense of belonging and purpose. There is an unrest placed within me that in many ways is very beneficial. There is  a longing and a certainty for need of growth and improvement. Without that feeling of necessity for improvement- how will we ever arrive at a place where God wants us? It is not a struggle with God’s will.. but rather a striving to achieve it.

In short, I’m just letting Go and letting God.

Peace to you all… for what I have I wish to give to others =)

Comments (2) »

A story written ages ago, but written for me!

March 7, 2007 · Filed under Crisis, God, Life, Moods, Mother Mazzarello, Prayer, Religion, The becoming, aspirancy, fear, religious life, stepping stones, turning points, youth

Good Morning!

Here i am, sitting in trig not paying attention and writing in my blog rather than paying attention. I’m a second semester senior, we’ve all developed some sort of allergy to doing school work. Although, I must say, despite that fact that we’re all so unwilling to work, we still getting just as much work as before. The quarter ends in 2 weeks, and I’m screwed- let’s just leave it at that.

So my good friend Brittany sent me a very fitting email yesterday, I needed to hear what it said just as I recieved it, funny how timing and Providence works right? Here’s the little quote:

One day a postulant ran into her room. On the verge of tears, she exclaimed: “Mother, I have to go home – today!”

Mother Mazzarello looked up in surprise. “Why, my dear, what’s wrong?”

Gradually the story came in bits between sobs, a combination of homesickness, and childish worry. Mother explained it all to her.

“But I still want to go home!” the girl protested.

“Well, now, there is no sense in dashing off before you even know your own mind. Why don’t you stay with us for month on vacation? Then we’ll pray together, and if you want to return home after that, I’ll go with you myself. How’s that?”

The girl agreed. She stayed and became a wonderful Salesian sister!

This story is basically the story of my life at this point. I’m nothing mroe than a nervous child. I know what i’m getting myself into but faultering under the stresses of my youth. I lack perfect trust, this will come with time and effort but for now I can only ask for strength in doing the will of God. I’m just a kid on a lot of levels but with the inspiration of the Divine- I can’t fail , right?? Well, I don’t think so- not at this rate anyway!

Currently, I’m working my way through writing my autobiography. Writing my autobiography is a requirement of the application for the order, so I’m def not doing this out of my own choosing. It’s not as terrible as I thought however, you can’t help but be very introspective when writing this. There are so many events in my life that I consider significant but have never really recounted on my own in any sort of depth. I guess one of the purposes of the autobiography is to recount how you developed into the person that you are. This includes vocational turning points, relationships, spiritual life, etc etc. It’s all about self-awareness. I feel so lucky to have had so many positiive influences placed in my life. Without these people I don’t think that I would have developed into the person that I am today. Everything happens for a reason and writing this autobiography has only cemented that in my mind.

Comments (2) »