Archive for Prayer

An Ode to George Harrison…

April 16, 2007 · Filed under God, Life, Music, Prayer, Religion, reflection · Tagged , ,

So…I was listening to my iPod on the way home from Jersey today and there was one song and one set of lyrics that just seemed so in sync with my thoughts! I often identify well with music, for me it conveys every emotion very well. The song that stuck was George Harrison’s “What is Life” and the key lyrics for me were-

“Tell me, what is my life without Your love?
Tell me, who am I without You, by my side?”

 I interpret things on my own terms from time to time, and this is a prime example. If you’ve got a fine tuned eye for details, you may have noticed that I capitalized the “You’s” In my mind- You stands for God in this particular quotation. Who are we without God with us? Who are we without his love? The answer is NO ONE!- and NOTHING! Strength comes from “the man upstairs” plain and simple, and so much relies on that. Me with my many imperefections- I’m learning this by living it- you can only rely on God to give you the love that you must give to others, and only in God can we find true strength and trust. For me personally… life falls apart without a strong relationship with God. I dont’ mince words when I say “falls apart”… I mean it! Over break – I got some GREAT advice from one of the Sisters- she said you must always have a strong relationship with Mary and an even stronger one with Christ in the Eucharist- without that, there is nothing. Definately the best advice I’ve heard in a LONG time! It just goes to show, that all things, even george harrison songs take on new meaning for what ever situation you are given. :-) What can I say- I was taught by jesuits- I can’t help but find God in all things!

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Paranoia strikes deep, into your life it will creep…

March 9, 2007 · Filed under Life, Moods, Music, Prayer, Religion, experiences, fear, reflection, stepping stones, turning points, youth

thanks to Buffalo Springfield for my title, it seems to fit my life right now- or at least my emotion of the day. Despite my constant rants, I’m happy most of the time- I just don’t need to write them down quite as much as i need to vent the stressful times.  So that’s your forewarning.

The song was originally written to express the turmoil of the early 60’s but for me- it’s the struggle of my will, His will and how I’m going to get there in one piece. Let’s begin by saying, I’m the most indecisive person alive on the planet. Example draws- I go to visit shoes before I can decide if I want to buy them or not, seriously, same goes with large resurtaunt menu’s and outfit choices. Thank God I wear a uniform and have done so for the past 13 years, I think that has kept my morning routine just a little bit more sane. Who ever would’ve thought that over the course of one week in December I would have made the single most important decision of my life. How’d that happen?! I know GOd was highly involved, so I guess I should put my questioning to the side and just give in to it. You feel firm and confident in your decisions one day, but the next- you’re terrified that you’ll fail. That doesnt’ mean I’m going to let my fear impede my entrance, it just means I’m a wimp, and I need to be gently nudged. That’s the real world though, and oddly enough that’s just what the drama director had to say to me this morning- while I had the worst morning of my week, all she could say was “Welcome to the real world, little girl- don’t let the door hit you in the arse on the way out!” Obviously that’s what I WANTED to hear, c’mon- what else would have been more comforting on one of those mornings were even a new zit could bring you to tears?? Yes, that’s the kind of morning that I had- I cried about burnt coffee. Lame, I know.  I’m an emotional wreck- there’s no easy way to put it.

I blame STRESS! School, insane family, APPLICATION!, friends, and jsut frustration with high school and all that it entails at this point. All these things are slowly causing my downfall.

Okay, end of rant- I’m going to go cry over something lame and prepare fr PARADE day tomorrow… because that’s the only good thing that ever happens in Scranton.

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A story written ages ago, but written for me!

March 7, 2007 · Filed under Crisis, God, Life, Moods, Mother Mazzarello, Prayer, Religion, The becoming, aspirancy, fear, religious life, stepping stones, turning points, youth

Good Morning!

Here i am, sitting in trig not paying attention and writing in my blog rather than paying attention. I’m a second semester senior, we’ve all developed some sort of allergy to doing school work. Although, I must say, despite that fact that we’re all so unwilling to work, we still getting just as much work as before. The quarter ends in 2 weeks, and I’m screwed- let’s just leave it at that.

So my good friend Brittany sent me a very fitting email yesterday, I needed to hear what it said just as I recieved it, funny how timing and Providence works right? Here’s the little quote:

One day a postulant ran into her room. On the verge of tears, she exclaimed: “Mother, I have to go home – today!”

Mother Mazzarello looked up in surprise. “Why, my dear, what’s wrong?”

Gradually the story came in bits between sobs, a combination of homesickness, and childish worry. Mother explained it all to her.

“But I still want to go home!” the girl protested.

“Well, now, there is no sense in dashing off before you even know your own mind. Why don’t you stay with us for month on vacation? Then we’ll pray together, and if you want to return home after that, I’ll go with you myself. How’s that?”

The girl agreed. She stayed and became a wonderful Salesian sister!

This story is basically the story of my life at this point. I’m nothing mroe than a nervous child. I know what i’m getting myself into but faultering under the stresses of my youth. I lack perfect trust, this will come with time and effort but for now I can only ask for strength in doing the will of God. I’m just a kid on a lot of levels but with the inspiration of the Divine- I can’t fail , right?? Well, I don’t think so- not at this rate anyway!

Currently, I’m working my way through writing my autobiography. Writing my autobiography is a requirement of the application for the order, so I’m def not doing this out of my own choosing. It’s not as terrible as I thought however, you can’t help but be very introspective when writing this. There are so many events in my life that I consider significant but have never really recounted on my own in any sort of depth. I guess one of the purposes of the autobiography is to recount how you developed into the person that you are. This includes vocational turning points, relationships, spiritual life, etc etc. It’s all about self-awareness. I feel so lucky to have had so many positiive influences placed in my life. Without these people I don’t think that I would have developed into the person that I am today. Everything happens for a reason and writing this autobiography has only cemented that in my mind.

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This is me…

March 4, 2007 · Filed under God, Life, Mother Mazzarello, Prayer, Religion, experiences, insanity, religious life, youth

my kinda nuns, hehe ;-)Okay so, here it is- my blog, the one thing I avoided because I’m such a terrible journaler.. I owe that to my attention span worthy of a gnat. Oh well, life moves on… So people have been bugging me to get a blog for ages so here it is- my submission to not so terrible peer pressure. I think this may be a good way to release my little emotional outburts ( whether sane or insane) on something other than a person. No one person needs to feel the brunt of my rants– thus is my reason for starting a BLOG!

 So let me tell you a tiny bit about myself. I just turned 19 and I live in the slow hell that I like to call Lake Ariel, PA- it’s right outside of Scranton. I go to the Scranton Preparatory School and I’m trudging my way through the second semester of my senior year. Overall Prep isn’t half bad… i’m just, done with high school at this point, if you get my drift. I’m a dancer, I love broadway and all musicals, I have a great time teaching a great group of munchkins in CCD at my church and I love my family more than anything!

I’m ususally a pretty optimistic and upbeat person, however I may rant alot in this blog… so you all may be often subject to my not sooptimistic side… so forwarning. 

Lots of people have been asking what my plans are for after high school.. well I’ll tell you now- Get readddy!!

Yes, I went to a college Prep school, but I wont’ be going straight to college! (this may shock and appall you) haha-  God and I have different plans. I’ve asked to enter the Salesian Sisters of St John Bosco, and God willing I will be entering the convent on August 4th 2007! Nothing like breaking the mold of a prep school kid like entering the convent right out of high school! It will be a challenge, but one that I am willing to take on wholeheartedly. What better than to be counter cultural in a world so needy of change?

You ask: “Why would you do such a crazy thing!?”.. well, if you knew what I knew, and you felt what I felt… you’d be making the same crazy decision that I am! Everyone searches for that one thing in like that will complete them, that one this that will sustain a level of happiness and fill that “God sized vacuum”  People sometimes take their whole lives to satisfy this void. I’m so happy to say that I have found my one thing, the one thing that completes who I am, and who I’m meant to be. I want to give of myself completely, with no reservations, to God through the young and the poor. There is nothing that would make me happier. No, I have not made a simple job choice, but a complete lifestyle choice that transcends from this life to the next. I may only be 19, but I know what I’m doing, and why I’m doing it. I’m doing it because I’m meant to, I’m doing this because God wants me too, and I’m with Him on this one, so here it goes- ALL or nothing!

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